I desperately want to sleep. If just to escape the completely overwhelming feeling of sorrow for just a few hours. Sleep will not come. The tears will not stop. The heartache is so real and physical.
I don't even know how to put it all into words. There is this strange mixture of shock, disbelief, sadness and comfort. The first three seem to fit together so well. How does this last one meld into the group? None of it makes sense to me. But the reassurance that he is face to face with our Savior. I can find comfort in knowing that.
My dear cousin, went to be with our great God much sooner than any of us ever imagined possible. I have often admired him. His love for God. His love and loyalty to his family and friends. His God-given talents and work ethic.
I keep hearing part of this song in my head. It feels so appropriate and inappropriate at the same time.
Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will chose to say
Lord, blessed be your name
Peace and comfort that can only come from you, God, is what we pray for. What we long for. Help us to not rest in sorrow, sadness or anger. Help us to always proclaim your goodness. Blessed be your name.
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