Monday, February 8, 2010

A Lesson in Expectations

I will be the first to admit that I am often guilty of having unreasonable expectations. I expect behavior from my children that I do not get. I expect things out of my husband that are not fulfilled. I easily get depressed by being disappointed that things don't go my way.

So, where does the problem lay?? Is it in the other people not living up to my expectations? Is it in having the expectations in the first place? Or is it because I'm not allowing God to fully captivate my heart?

In my own selfishness I want to blame others for my disappointment. Why can't they just do what I want? Why do I have to tell them exactly what to do?  Don't they already know what I expect?

Once I get past this, I am more willing to lay the blame on myself. I know that if I expect something I need to express it. I shouldn't expect my husband to do the laundry if I haven't asked him to. I should expect him to know the boys routine and how I do things during the day if I don't tell him what we do. It truly is not his fault, it is my own.

The last one is a bit harder. I think it hits closer to home than I would like to admit. If God is not fully captivating my heart than the way I react is going to be sinful. I am a sinful person and my reactions to circumstances is often sinful. I have worked hard to change myself, unsuccessfully. What a blessing it is to know that I don't have to be the one to change myself. Don't misunderstand, change needs to happen and that change needs to happen in me. God is the only one that can make a lasting heart change in my life. It is very true that whatever is in your heart comes out of your mouth. You cannot hide your true heart. When the heat is applied, do you respond with a heart filled with the cross?

Yesterday was my 27th birthday. Casey and I were out for dinner and he asked my what my goals were for this next year of my life. Easy, so I thought, I know what my goals are. I want to get in shape, be more patient with my children and treasure Christ more. OK, so its easy to know what you want to do, following through is the hard part.  I think that if I make my last goal my first priority, then the others will fall in place. I expect to struggle with all three along the way. I am praying for God to guide me this year, to live fully for him. I hope that you join me on my journey this year. Walking and praying along side of me.

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